Women of Excellence Award 2010
Music: BeyondTheLine – Bensound.com
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When I was young, I was very ambitious and wanted to have grand achievements in my life. When I graduated from college, I secured a fantastic job and in less than a year, I was promoted to a very high level position. I loved my job and was quite successful in the eyes of the world. Although I was doing well in my work, I was not able to have a committed and close relationship with a man. I made work my life and lamented about not finding the “right man.” Then, after a few years, I had a personal crisis that led me to get some counseling. My therapist helped me understand that my drive to succeed was based upon my ego’s need for achievement as an overcompensation for my core feeling of inadequacy. She also helped me realize that my inability to have a close relationship with a man was based upon these same feelings of inadequacy.
Working on my psychology was tough, but I had no other option if I wanted to find peace and self-acceptance. The rewards for doing this work were enormous. I began to feel genuine self-worth and have an inner peace I had never before experienced. My relationships improved and I met the love of my life and we got married.
New opportunities opened to me and my motive for achievement changed. Now it became about serving and being the best I could be, not for ego aggrandizement but in the true spirit of contributing to the greater good of my family and the community.
When I was asked to be included in the book Dear Success Seeker, I was so honored. I have read countless books on success over the years and many people focus just on material success. However, the messages in Dear Success Seeker set it apart because they have a depth and richness to them that go far beyond superficial success. The messages get to the real heart and soul of success, which is the mastery of one’s self and one’s life and the fulfillment of the God-given potential that lies within the soul of each individual.
As a man, I never thought that I would read what I thought was a book geared towards women. But to my surprise, I realized that even though Dear Success Seeker is a book written by successful women, it gives sound advice to all on what it takes to be successful in this life.
My story is not very simple, and most of my struggles started at a very young age. By the time I was thirteen years old, I dealt with depression coupled with the strong desire to commit suicide. For about three years, I came up with numerous plans to take my life, and daily I tried to muster the courage to carry out one of those plans. These time periods not only affected my school life, but ultimately lead to a life of drug and alcohol abuse. Most people think that all people that choose this route come from broken homes with no guidance; however, my life was far from that.
I came from a two parent Christian home, and even though we didn’t have the luxuries that most middle class families had, we did not know that we were struggling. My parents loved us and we had a vast support system of aunts, uncles, and cousins that loved us. But people that fight depression often do not realize that the support system is there, and you can’t help how you feel. Dear Success Seeker has many stories such as mine. It is so encouraging to see that people who have obtained success did not achieve it overnight, like in a fairy tale. More times than not, they are just regular people who pursued and conquered paths that all of us cross each day.
My life of drugs and alcohol quickly moved into the gang scene. You know the saying “birds of a feather, flock together”, well in a very short time I found myself deeply involved in gang activity. And my life seemed to spiral downward from there. It seems like sometimes you have to hit rock bottom before you realize that your life is going nowhere. And that is exactly what happened to me. A drug induced heart attack sent me running to the only place I knew, the church. When death knocks at your door, a new light is shed in every negative situation in your life. And this new light was my light to success.
I founded and ran a construction business for 13 years. In this time I made more money and gained more respect than I have ever dreamed or could obtain selling drugs. My business thrived, and I had the opportunity to meet people who wouldn’t give my former self the time of day. During this time I also was called into the ministry, and by watching the miraculous change in my life, many people who I came into contact with gave their life to Christ and many others saw that if I could make a change they could do the same. Success is contagious. Sometimes when others see your sacrifice and hard work, they become inspired to achieve their dreams.
I am now the founder and CEO of the House of Refuge and Deliverance, a growing ministry that strives to minister to those people who have been overlooked, people with little or no experience, or those who are disillusioned by traditional churches or circumstances in life. My God-given vision, considered a radical move by many, has proven successful. And as many of the women in Dear Success Seeker, I believe in being “real” in your pursuit to become successful.
I challenge you, whether you are a man, woman, boy or girl; if you would like to be inspired and motivated to be successful in whatever you desire to be in this life then this is the book for you!
A small, still voice reminded me of a resource I was blessed with, so I attempted to read the book of letters again and this time, my attempt turned into a success. I didn’t intentionally set aside the entire day (with the exception of quality time here and there with the kiddos), but I would read one letter, then I couldn’t wait to read the next, and the next, and the next until I read all the letters of Dear Success Seeker. Each letter now contains bright yellow highlights by me because there was inspiration and wisdom in each one that resonated with my spirit. I enjoyed every letter and even found commonalities: “Seek God first”, “Serve & Give to Others”, and “Work hard to be and do what you truly are”. I even laughed… (Carolle Jean-Murat’s letter about Dos Ochenta was hilarious). I also thoroughly enjoyed the letter by your mom (Frankie Berry Wise) and poem by your sister (Monica Rene Wise)…what a talented family!
Dr. Wright, I firmly believe you are a Godsend to my life. Thanks for all you do! Love You Dearly!
~Prayed Up~
I had a great job, in a great company, and my family thought I was simply…great. I smiled at work because I was genuinely happy to be there. I was doing what I loved, and what most English majors dreamed of upon graduation–getting paid to read, write, edit at a major publishing company in New York. I was an editor. Yet life can get a little complicated when you’re comfortable. Ugh. Although I was completely content with my job, I knew I needed more. There was a nagging feeling following me around the office. It was only four years but time for a new challenge. My mom worked at her first job for 25 years! I was frustrated with that feeling. T.D. Jakes suggests that if you’re not shaking while walking into a meeting than it is time to change your job. You should always feel challenged. I hated challenge. Consistency and stability were friends of mine. Most people like scary movies and rollercoasters. I never did.
I tried to take the smart, easy, most-trodden road and started applying to other companies. The nagging voice told me “nope, a new company isn’t the answer”. I already liked the company I was with! Not even a promotion would help. T.D. Jakes wouldn’t approve, my adrenaline wasn’t pumping with fear at those thoughts.
Then it came to me–my dreams. I began dreaming again, very “immature” dreams like traveling around the world like a cute bohemian girl who wears colorful scarves and stares from the window of foreign trains. On snowy days, while going to work I daydreamed about working from home and going shopping in the middle of a summer afternoon. I dreamed constantly for two years. My friends and I would have long email exchanges in which we’d laugh about our crazy thoughts for a new life. But soon my dreams caught up with me. I realized that I could actually achieve them. That’s when the adrenaline started pumping.
It took a lot of books and wisdom to come to that conclusion (but that’s what kind of business I was in). I come from hardworking middle class parents so I got strange stares when I first brought up the idea of working from home while I traveled. That was for some rich girl who got a fat check from her ancestors every month. Then living examples appeared, it wasn’t only possible in books. I felt inspired. I began meeting people who were living the grand life of their dreams. I realized I was surrounded by them, authors, entertainers, entrepreneurs who never imagined being in their position yet some of them were famous!
I began taking my dreams seriously and pondered how I could do it. An Oscar even appeared in one my daydreams. How could my life become totally unique to my spirit and desires? I went back and forth in my brain trying to figure out how to do it financially, set goals, gather concrete information from mentors but it was too stressful to think about. My adrenaline would go crashing through the roof with fear! I knew I was on to something. Then I turned inward, started praying, meditating, visualizing, etc. Finally, the perfect answer came, “Just do it”. Yeah right. I tried giving that answer to my mother. Magically she responded, “why not?” I was stunned, she was right. There wasn’t really a strong enough reason not to do it would win over sheer happiness. I tested negative thoughts like losing a leg with no healthcare or a falling economy. (Smile) Nothing seemed to defeat the moments of joy I felt at living my life to the fullest. So I leaped.
I received a proposal for a book at work from a literary agent I admired called Dear Success Seeker. I read the book, spoke with the author, and was in love. The book and author spoke to my heart. It was a collection of stories about unique legacies. I was so inspired I acquired the book. Shortly after, I left the company to create a unique life myself. Currently, I am doing what I imagined. I have my own editorial and marketing business (still working with books) and on snowy days I watch from my home office as everyone else rushes to his or her office. I have shopped in the middle of the day when I was done working. And I’m traveling. Best of all, I am looking forward to the future in a bold and courageous way. I know that I will do things way beyond my own expectations. I also continue to dream at least twice a day.